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my_hero_zero
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Name: Eli
Gender: Male
Interests: i am mostly interested in new experiences, exploration. i'll try most things once.
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." -James Dean
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
11/5/2005
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| - Work Ethic. “I was raised right and am willing to spend as much time as it takes to get where I want to go. I don’t believe that you should undertake anything without deciding that you can and should be the absolute best at what you’re doing.”
- Hustle. “I’ve got a really strong hustle. I didn’t wait for the mainstream to come to me, I went out for auditions and pounded the pavements. Business is all about being in the right place in the right time, so you need to be as many places as possible as often as possible if you want to succeed.”
- Sacrifice. “You can’t become successful if you’re not willing to give something else up. I have friends who quit the porn business and now have families and are really happy with their lives. I made the decision that I couldn’t pursue my career and still be a good parent.
- Patience. “The mainstream business is far more cutthroat than the porn business. In porn, almost every thing is done with verbal contracts and word-of-honor. In the mainstream, you can sign a contract an inch thick and still get screwed over.”
- Friendship. “I’m always ready to do what I can to help my friends. If I can help somebody connect up with somebody else, or give somebody I trust a reference, I’ll do it in a heartbeat. I have a rolodex that’s longer than…my arm.”
- Ron Jeremy
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| Time is kept by those that hold your heart. So, to survive, some never let go. I hate doing the right thing and catching up with Karma. That, however, is a terrible way to live and the beauty of having a personal God. The ability to wipe the slate clean. That's hope. But with the guilt or threat of Karma balancing the universe, one would never be free of their burdens.
So, Hell to Karma. Hell to God. Hell to heart holders. Hell to the rest of us.
And since we're on the subject. The people I know who are going to Heaven are not as cool as the ones that are going to Hell. And the Heavenly are extremely out numbered.
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| dating and acting
first you audition
if you are what they are looking for, you get the part
not always the one you expected
i'll remind you that everyday is an audition
every rehearsal, every performance, every date
an audition
the process, the routine, the pattern, continues.
these rules, those rules, wins, losses, you grow as one. apart or together. an upward or downward crescendo.
still moving to an inevitable end.
sometimes your heart is not in it, you show up, fairly often, though you may not be "present", and when it ends, it's emotionless. numb. you move on.
sometimes your heart is in it, you work, hard, and when the curtain drops for the last time, silence. no victory lap. just silence as the audience leaves. you realize that you're alone again. you cry like hell.
on to the next show
the next audition
for better or for worse
but...
the show must go on.
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| when you finally want someone else to have your love, when you are really ready to give it, as good as it seems, it will still hurt.
but what a splendorous thing is love. like a drug. intoxicating. a violent little flower grabs your still beating little heart and says love me. and you do. it's amazing. unlike any other love or lover. then you realize that you are pulling a lot of weight. uphill. if you can make it to the top, it's smooth sailing. but even then, it's all downhill from there.
what to do what to do what to do
this is so emo...
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| first of all, the giant shoulder thing. yeah newton said it but he was standing in the exact same spot as the last guy who said it, bernard or something... but that's not the point. i'm talking about the bit about 'every action has and equal and opposite reaction'.
(newton's third law?)
yeah. yeah. the third one.
two objects interacting... uh... the reacting is the piece to pay attention to. it comes in three parts. condemn, condone, ignore. my cat or this cat... a cat. a fuckin cat can come lay in my lap. i push it off, pet it, or ignore it. but the ignoring is the key. the gray area. with all this progress of uh... mmmodern man... the day of respect for your fellow man is as dead as, well you know, like there was this homeless guy in the news who couldn't make it inside and froze to death. his breath probably got more and more, you know, uh... like really faint. then it was gone. no one noticed or cared until it was too late...
(bum mer)
heh. yeah. uh.. no. NO! the progress. progress and this idea to become better and this preexisting fear of... fuck man.
(you're messed up)
shut up. shut up. i gotta say this. progress, moving forward, it's leading us back to a time where life doesn't mean anything. where if i say hi to some fucking guy at the gas station he can say hi, ignore me, or tell me to go fuck myself. you see the gray area, progress, moving forward to move back...
(you're not making any sense)
no. your not making fucking sense. the gray overlaps. like with a cat, ignoring it when it lays in my lap is still sort of condoning it. you know? but this fucking guy at the store ignoring my fucking uh.... salutation is rude and condemns ME! the gray area. it's where most of us live. that's what i'm trying to spit out here. everyone is so fucking scared and uneducated. they would rather live in that box...
(circle)
circle... the damage they do... like that gas station fucker, after he reacts, it's my turn to react, to him telling me to fuck myself. condemn, condone, ignore. the way i see it, he's fucking up the cycle of shit. i tell him to have a nice day, ignore him, or fuck his incestual, conservative, redneck ass up!
(fuck him up the ass?)
you're not even listening. he's holding us back. i'm patching the the... the thing. i'm doing the right thing. trying to keep forward forward and not go back. making the world better. progress.
(progress is the road to the future)
the future? the jetsons are the fucking future. look at the mess that they are in. a terribly technical world with no earth, trees, or lakes man. no fucking rivers or weather. where are all the black people? chinese and shit too? and what poor pathetic planet has all of those poles, columns, holding up their high rise, deluxe, future houses? ...you could never know your neighbor or say hi, everyone's in all those bubbles...
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